Forward

I haven’t written in awhile, for those of you who follow this blog you may have noticed some changes. I am now bound by rules that are out of my control. I can no longer tell the story of the patients in the personal manner as I used to. I feel constricted and saddened that my words are now censored, even though I’m beginning to understand the reasoning behind it.

Please be patient as I try to figure out how to be true to myself and all of those infected and affected by AIDS. How to still tell the truth of this disease within the boundaries, while still being a voice for those that have no voice.

For weeks now, I have struggled with how to continue forward. Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to stop looking back. As I remove names and posts in an effort to conform my blog in order to meet proper guidelines, I feel like I’m erasing patients that are too soon forgotten already.

I have agonized over each and ever post that has had to be edited. I have spent many mornings crying softly in the shower, defeated.

The patients at the hospice tell me to never forget them, so even when I felt that maybe shutting down this blog completely would be the only way forward. I know that’s not the answer.

Easier? Maybe? But, if I write it and if you read it, it will always be.