Tonight

Tomorrow morning I go to the hospice and tonight I feel a little bit on edge thinking about it, last week it seemed that all the residents were declining, all of them, all at once.

I’ve said before the dynamics of the hospice have never been like they are now since I began volunteering. Most of the residents have been there for months. They’ve been able to walk unassisted, eat at the table, tell me their stories, laugh at my jokes. But now that’s changing and thinking about what I will face tomorrow after not being there since Thursday makes me nervous, a little fearful, and ties my stomach in knots.

It can’t happen all at once, it just can’t. And yet, somehow it is.