24 Hours and 13 Minutes

When he came to the hospice he was lying down in the backseat of someone’s car with pillows propping up his head. I had never been at the house for an intake of a new patient. Usually, they come the night before my scheduled shift or right after I leave. I went to the car and helped gather his belongings and wheel him to his room. He had a large group of people that accompanied him, family and friends. We all crowded in his room and started the process of admitting him to what would be his final destination. He was tall. Thin but not wasting, he had that rotting, sweet, sickly, scent of a liver dying inside a body. He was responsive and able to sit and stand with assistance. During intake, we helped him to the bathroom door. He went in alone, and closed door behind him, came out when he was finished and got back in bed. I’m not sure where that strength came from, maybe he needed to reassure his family. It was the last time he went to the restroom by himself.

I signed his paperwork as a witness, helped inventory his belongings, and grabbed a hospital gown from his drawer. His family was concerned that he would be uncomfortable with me helping to undress him. “He doesn’t like women to see him naked,” they all said. The nurse on duty explained to them that he was the only male at the house today so the only option would be a woman, but if he objected that he would “go it alone.” We understand that everyone was nervous and scared; it’s hard on all those involved when someone you care for and love is facing the end of their life and everyone at the hospice is sensitive to the apprehension and fear that comes with that first day. BUT, we did explain there would be times when the only choice would be a female nurse, or volunteer. When everyone finally cleared the room, the nurse inspected his body for any open sores. He cleaned and bandaged all of them and we got him changed into his gown with no objection at all.

When I left later that afternoon, I expected to see him my next shift. He seemed strong. I thought for sure he’d be around awhile.

He died 24 hours and 13 minutes after being admitted.

November was a hard month for us, we lost 9 residents. NINE!!...I hope December gives us a break. It would be nice if all the residents that are currently at the hospice could make it to see the new year. I’d really like to buy Christmas gifts for everyone, but I don’t know who’ll be there December 25th.

I don’t know who’ll be there tomorrow morning when I walk in.